Amon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
somebodythatusedtahno) wrote2013-01-28 03:07 pm
somebodythatusedtahno) wrote2013-01-28 03:07 pm
Unused Jokes
[If he had learned that Aang was Avatar Aang]
Avatar Aang walks into a bar.
Bartender says, what can I get you?
Avatar Aang says, I'll have the special.
Bartender says, all right, that will be 30 yuan.
Avatar Aang says, sorry, I'm a little short right now.
Eh? Eh?
Because you're...shorter than I expected.
You're not laughing. What, is it because you're too young to go into a bar?
I guess that doesn't make sense for you right now.
It's a joke. You should be more flexible. All right, it still works if it's a...a cafe.
All right, so, Avatar Aang walks into a cafe.
The...cafe tender...says....
*
[If Toph hadn't liked this joke.]
Well, uh. I guess it isn't really her greatest weakness.
That would probably be Equalists.
I mean, she sacrificed everything to protect the airbenders in a satisfying and poignant ending to her character arc and we caught them offscreen in a couple of episodes for no reason.
Kind of a raw deal.
But turtleducks are pretty bad too.
*
[If he had fought Bolin]
That's the problem with Bolin.
Even if he doesn't hit the strike, you never know when he'll find a spare.
Like. Spare reserves of energy.
Bolin. Bowlin'.
It's a game.
Lieutenant and I used to play it on Tuesdays.
*
[If he had needed to use bloodbending on someone]
Did you hear the one about the [description] who tried to fight a bloodbender?
The [description] tried as best [s/he] could, but, in the end, it was all in vein.
You know. Like the blood vessel.
Get it?
*
[If he had fought someone who wasn't an airbender and they got a hit on him]
Are you sure you're not an airbender?
Because that attack knocked the wind right out of me.
*
[If he had figured out that a lot of the people he didn't know were historical figures from the Gaang and had then talked to Suki, he would have expressed that he'd never heard of her, since she's never mentioned in future canon stuff.]
[If she told him that she was a member of the Gaang]
So, let me get this straight.
You say you were close to Avatar Aang's group, but, uh. But no one has ever heard of you a hundred years later.
...Lin Bei Fong's father?
[If she told him she was the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors]
The Kyoshi Warriors.
You mean the first group to be taught chi-blocking?
That technique that would later become the centerpiece of the Equalists' ability to fight against Republic City and the Avatar and nearly change the course of history?
Never heard of them, either.
*
[If he had encountered an Asami]
Are you sure you're not a firebender?
Because damn, girl, you hot.
Oh. Oh.
I guess that was a little insensitive of me.
Since, uh. Since a firebender killed your mother and then another one sort of cheated on you and broke your heart.
But, uh. Seriously, you doing anything tonight?
Because, uh, you and I could go, uh....
*
[Misc]
What...is an earthbender's favourite kind of music?
Rock music.
...Actually, I don't really know if that's a kind of music.
It sounds pretty cool though.
Maybe someone should write some.
*
What do you call an airbender who has fallen into a swamp?
Ikki.
Iiiiiicky. Icky.
It's, uh.
It's an adjective.
Swamps are pretty gross.
*
So I went to a pro-bending tournament the other day. Real exciting.
And, uh, Tahno's fans got so worked up, they did the wave.
...Yup.
Until I took away his bending. Then the joke didn't really make sense anymore.
It was kinda funny on its own, though.
Heh heh. If you had seen his face, you would have laughed, too.
Avatar Aang walks into a bar.
Bartender says, what can I get you?
Avatar Aang says, I'll have the special.
Bartender says, all right, that will be 30 yuan.
Avatar Aang says, sorry, I'm a little short right now.
Eh? Eh?
Because you're...shorter than I expected.
You're not laughing. What, is it because you're too young to go into a bar?
I guess that doesn't make sense for you right now.
It's a joke. You should be more flexible. All right, it still works if it's a...a cafe.
All right, so, Avatar Aang walks into a cafe.
The...cafe tender...says....
*
[If Toph hadn't liked this joke.]
Well, uh. I guess it isn't really her greatest weakness.
That would probably be Equalists.
I mean, she sacrificed everything to protect the airbenders in a satisfying and poignant ending to her character arc and we caught them offscreen in a couple of episodes for no reason.
Kind of a raw deal.
But turtleducks are pretty bad too.
*
[If he had fought Bolin]
That's the problem with Bolin.
Even if he doesn't hit the strike, you never know when he'll find a spare.
Like. Spare reserves of energy.
Bolin. Bowlin'.
It's a game.
Lieutenant and I used to play it on Tuesdays.
*
[If he had needed to use bloodbending on someone]
Did you hear the one about the [description] who tried to fight a bloodbender?
The [description] tried as best [s/he] could, but, in the end, it was all in vein.
You know. Like the blood vessel.
Get it?
*
[If he had fought someone who wasn't an airbender and they got a hit on him]
Are you sure you're not an airbender?
Because that attack knocked the wind right out of me.
*
[If he had figured out that a lot of the people he didn't know were historical figures from the Gaang and had then talked to Suki, he would have expressed that he'd never heard of her, since she's never mentioned in future canon stuff.]
[If she told him that she was a member of the Gaang]
So, let me get this straight.
You say you were close to Avatar Aang's group, but, uh. But no one has ever heard of you a hundred years later.
...Lin Bei Fong's father?
[If she told him she was the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors]
The Kyoshi Warriors.
You mean the first group to be taught chi-blocking?
That technique that would later become the centerpiece of the Equalists' ability to fight against Republic City and the Avatar and nearly change the course of history?
Never heard of them, either.
*
[If he had encountered an Asami]
Are you sure you're not a firebender?
Because damn, girl, you hot.
Oh. Oh.
I guess that was a little insensitive of me.
Since, uh. Since a firebender killed your mother and then another one sort of cheated on you and broke your heart.
But, uh. Seriously, you doing anything tonight?
Because, uh, you and I could go, uh....
*
[Misc]
What...is an earthbender's favourite kind of music?
Rock music.
...Actually, I don't really know if that's a kind of music.
It sounds pretty cool though.
Maybe someone should write some.
*
What do you call an airbender who has fallen into a swamp?
Ikki.
Iiiiiicky. Icky.
It's, uh.
It's an adjective.
Swamps are pretty gross.
*
So I went to a pro-bending tournament the other day. Real exciting.
And, uh, Tahno's fans got so worked up, they did the wave.
...Yup.
Until I took away his bending. Then the joke didn't really make sense anymore.
It was kinda funny on its own, though.
Heh heh. If you had seen his face, you would have laughed, too.